


A Rose By Any Other Name

by swanqueenfic13



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Adoptive family, Angst, Comfort/Angst, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Family Issues, Names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:52:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9389876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanqueenfic13/pseuds/swanqueenfic13
Summary: What if Lena Luthor wasn't the first Lena Luthor? What if there was another before her? What if her name wasn't always Lena?My take on Lena dealing with the issues of being adopted into the Luthor family and taking the Luthor name. Kara is there to help her through the issues.





	

**Author's Note:**

> TW: mentions of cancer, death and hella self-loathing. Read with caution!

It starts off simply enough: Kara has vowed to tell Lena every single reason she loves her. Lena blushes, shakes her head, can’t believe someone as good as Kara would love  _ her _ . But she does, and she never pushes Lena to say it back. And Kara tells her this every day over meals and texts and whispered phone calls between meetings. She says it every night between kisses and touches that leave them breathless.

“I love the way you fight for what you believe in.”

“I love the way you’re willing to admit you’re wrong.”

“I love the way you say my name when you come.”

“I love the way your eyes sparkle and light up when you’re talking about your work.”

It starts off simply enough, but one evening, everything gets more complicated. They were lying in bed, just holding each other as they drifted off to sleep. Kara’s arms were wrapped around Lena and Lena played with the fingers resting on her stomach.

“I love your name,” Kara whispers. And Lena freezes, stiffens. “I do,” she continues. “I love the alliteration. I love the way you’re turning your family name into something good. I love… You know one of the first things I thought when I met you? A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. And I stand by that, Lena.”

“Kara, don’t,” she insists softly. Hot tears sting at the corners of her eyes. She can feel Kara sitting up to look at her. “I just… I don't want to talk about my name.” And maybe it wouldn't have mattered as much if The Day hadn’t been last week. Maybe it wouldn't bother her as much if the day that she became a Luthor wasn't still so fresh in her mind, the day she lost everything and everyone she ever knew. 

“I'm sorry,” Kara whispers, kissing Lena's hand. Lena rolls over so she's facing Kara. Her girlfriend doesn't push anything, doesn't ask why. She just holds her and kisses her and apologizes until they fall asleep. 

 

The next morning, Lena wakes to Kara kissing her palm, her knuckles, her fingertips.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Kara whispers the moment she registers Lena’s breathing change. Her eyes open and she looks up at Kara, the sun streaming in through the open curtains backlighting her and making her look ethereal, angelic. Like someone who fell from the stars. “We don’t have to talk,” she continues, “but it might help you.” In a very un-Kara move, she stays silent after that, giving Lena the control.

“I wasn’t always… Lena Luthor,” she says after a while. Kara shifts when Lena sits up, still holding her hands to keep contact. “This isn’t… It’s not my name.” Lena stops. 

“Well, I wasn’t always Kara Danvers,” Kara offers after a while. “When I got to earth, my cousin left me with the Danvers. He said I had to change my last name because Zor-El was too foreign, too obvious. If I kept my name, everyone would know. I didn’t want to… lose part of my heritage, my family, my world. I’m not trying to dismiss what you’re feeling, I’m just saying I understa-”

“It’s not the same!” Lena interrupts, yanking her hands away from Kara. Her tone is clipped and curt and she is  _ angry _ . But in an instant, she deflates, sags against the headboard. “I’m sorry, Kara. I-I’m sorry. I’m not… angry with you,” she says, sounding tired and so completely  _ finished _ that Kara can’t even find herself upset at the raised voice.

“It’s okay. You’re right. I can’t understand because I don’t know. So, why don’t you tell me?” She leans forward, gently taking Lena’s hands again, tracing the pads of her thumbs over the back of her hand, small circles.

“I wasn’t… It’s not the same. It’s not like changing my last name. When I say I wasn’t always…” She pauses, tries again. “Did you know that there was another Lena Luthor?” Kara just raises an eyebrow, letting Lena run this show. “When Lex was seven, Lillian had a baby, a little girl. For a few months, they were the perfect nuclear family. Happy. And then, baby Lena got sick. A neuroblastoma. Wrapped around the spinal cord. There was nothing anything could do, but that didn’t stop the Luthors. For nearly two years, they poured their fortune into experimental research, treatment, anything to postpone the inevitable. When Lex was nine, his sister died.” She can’t bring herself to look at Kara, doesn’t want to see the pain reflected in her eyes.

Lena pauses for a moment, mourning for a loss she never felt. 

“After that, Lionel and Lillian tried to… cope as best as they could. They sent Lex to a boarding school and continued on with their life. They begged the press to stop reporting about their daughter. It was too painful. So, they did. In time, people seemed to forget she ever existed. One day, four years later, they went to a charity event. They were opening a community health center with a focus on helping struggling parents. That is where… they met me. And my family.” 

Lena stops, looks out the window. The sun is brighter now. Lena knows that Kara is likely hungry, but she hasn’t said one word about breakfast. “I need coffee. And something to eat,” Lena sighs, standing. In a gust of wind, Kara is in the kitchen brewing coffee. And then she’s back, holding Lena’s hand and giving her a cinnamon bun, still warm. They sit in silence, eating and waiting for the coffee. The moment it’s done, Kara has put the mug in Lena’s hand. Again she waits, still patient.

“Lena?” she asks after a while, interlacing their fingers. Lena shifts so that she’s leaning into Kara’s side, her head against Kara’s chest. It’s easier this way. She can feel the warmth, the steadiness of Kara’s heartbeat underneath her head. She doesn’t have to look at Kara while she tells this story.

It’s easier. Thankfully, Kara doesn’t question it.

“I was four so I don’t… I had to look all of this up when I was a teenager. I got this all second-hand. All I have are… fuzzy memories of balloons and a big ribbon and Lionel. He… he gave me a teddy bear. It was my fourth birthday, you see.” She laughs. “I’m not making sense, am I? I suppose that’s fair. It doesn’t make much sense to me anyhow. Anyway, my mother was invited to meet with Lionel. She wanted to thank him, apparently. Because she had a- a daughter. And this center would help. When I was introduced, she must have mentioned it was my birthday. My fourth birthday. Do you know when I was born, Kara?”

“Uh, January third?” Kara wonders if this is trick question.

“January third, 1986. The exact same day that the  _ original _ Lena Luthor died. And a week later, I was being adopted and renamed Lena Luthor. He used to tell me… That I was his miracle. His little Lena, brought back to him. For Lillian, I was a painful reminder of her lost child. Which explains why Lionel was so much more welcoming than Lillian as a parent. I was constantly living in the shadow of someone else, the first Lena Luthor and I never even knew it.” Lena trails off uncertainly.

“Oh,” Kara exhales. “Did they… What was your name? Before you were Lena Luthor?” She’s not sure if she’s crossing some line but her curiosity got the better of her.

“According to the paperwork I found… My name was Katie. Katie McGrath. And I… Katie McGrath died twenty seven years ago. I had a therapist who basically trained me to answer to Lena and forget I was Katie. I was young, so I don’t even remember what my birth mother looked like and I  _ certainly _ don’t have any photos. I don’t know… I don’t know why she gave me up. I don’t know… who I was, where I came from. I don’t… I just don’t know… anything.” Kara doesn’t comment on the tears streaming down her cheeks except to wipe them away with her thumbs.

“Have you gone back? You figured out your name so you could probably find your mom. Or your old house? I could help! I’m a journalist, so I have some resources, I bet. Plus, I’m Supergirl! And you’re Lena Luthor, so I bet you could hire a private investigator or something?”

“I know exactly where my mother is, Kara. After I was adopted, she moved to a nice new apartment in New York City. She’s got a good job even though she doesn’t have the credentials. She gave me up for a check, she certainly doesn’t want to see me now,” Lena growls before shoving away from Kara and pacing. She couldn’t hurt Kara, didn’t want to. She’s just… angry. And raw. And hurting. Because she doesn’t talk about this. She never talks about her old life, keeps it all bottled inside but now Kara is ripping off the bandaid and it’s like the wound is fresh again.

“You don’t know why she did it,” Kara says softly.

“She sold me like a piece of meat. She gave me away and doomed me to a life of always being second best. A life of having to prove I’m different. I’m different from what Lena Luthor would have been, different from my brother, different from my mother. She fucked my life over the day she took that check!” Lena’s crying and practically screaming now, tugging sharply at her sleeves and wringing her hands.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Kara immediately says, standing in Lena’s path. She holds onto Lena’s wrists to stop her from hurting herself. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t feel obligated to go find her and confront her. I just… When I was hurting and mad at my parents for sending me away, I tried to confront her. I yelled at… a hologram of my mom. I wanted answers but I should respect that not everyone wants that.”

“N-nothing she says… can justify. Nothing can justify how much I hated living in the Luthor household. And what if… what if she’s nice? What if I could have been raised by a mom who loved me? A mom who didn’t see a tiny coffin and a headstone whenever she looked at me?” Lena’s shoulders shake with the effort of reigning in her sobs.

“I’ve got you,” Kara whispers, kissing her hands and pulling her close while one hand rubs circles on her back.

“I think about it sometimes… I imagine birthdays that were big parties and celebrations… cake and presents and balloons and friends over. Not just… a cupcake from the kitchen staff while Lillian and Lionel locked themselves in their rooms to mourn their daughter.” Lena isn’t sure she’s ever emoted this much, not since she was very little. For as long as she can remember, she was taught to keep a stiff upper lip and show no emotion. She bottled everything up. Even when Lionel died, even when she found all of the legal documents detailing her personal history, even when Lex went mad, even when she turned her own mother (regardless of the fact that Lillian never loved her, she’s the only mother Lena can remember) over to the cops. Lena kept a stone face. And now she was blubbering all over Kara’s shoulder, being pulled onto the couch and rocked and cradled and held like a child.

Once her sobs had subsided, Lena feels lighter. Like she can breathe easier. God, no wonder people go to therapy. This feels  _ fantastic _ .

“So… what… name… do you want me… to use?” Kara asks very carefully after a moment. “Because no matter what, I love you. Whether you’re Lena or Katie or Morgana or Sarah or Lucy or Thelma or Harriet or Bess or Rachel or Rose, I will love you. And you should know that… You have outgrown the shadow of a dead girl. You’ve become a light so bright, so big, so important that everyone who looks in your direction has to shield their eyes. And- and- and- you should know that I love you, no matter who you are. Because you are amazing,” Kara finishes proudly. Lena just smiles, holds her close.

“You can still call me Lena,” she whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for Lena being a replacement from the show Smallville. In it, Lex had a baby brother who died and I wondered what would it be like if I brought that story line into the Supergirl world? If you liked it, feel free to drop a comment!!


End file.
